Flexi

Photo courtesy of Paul Mitchell Salon

As defined on Urban Dictionary, a Flexi (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flexi): is an incredibly gifted female athlete who has extraordinary abilities of contortion, incredible power, amazing speed, extreme aggression, massive sex appeal and an exceptional physique.

AKA: The Big O

Motto: “If I ain’t moving, I’m dead.”

Position: On top or rear-entry. Oh, derby? Super-jammer and pivot!

Distinguishing Characteristics: Muscles

Loves: Boys, Boys, Boys – the bigger, the better

Favorite foods: Meat and Bourbon

Bio: The love child of the Incredible Hulk and a burlesque performer, Flexi’s destiny was foretold at birth. Uncommon strength and aggression, coupled with extreme exhibitionism compelled young Flexi to pursue a career as a nude trapeze artist. Though she loved the variety of circus life (and, damn, those midgets!), the urge to put the smackdown on people eventually led to a mid-life career change. Cage fighting, boxing, erotic wrestling, modern-day gladiator – she tried them all. But it wasn’t until she stumbled upon the wild world of roller derby that she found her one and true life’s purpose. Strapping wheels to her feet and clothing herself in nothing but green and pink lingerie, Flexi started cussing and brawling, and never looked back.