Lil’ Wheezy


Assistant Coach & IT  Manager

Name: Lil’ Wheezy

Story behind the name: Ask my pulmonologist.

Number: 21

Likes: Peanut butter, roller derby, peanut butter, boys, Shirley temples

Dislikes: pants, people who mess with my friends and teammates, functioning mufflers, anything that I am allergic to

Signature move: Pushing my glasses up my nose while glaring at you, cuz b*tch you know what you did


It was just any given day. I was home, not wearing any pants, watching Wheel of Fortune, eating peanut butter when a recruitment flier fell out of the paper I was flipping through. Now I wouldn’t usually give it a second thought, except this day in particular I was pretty frustrated with more than a handful of people who had crossed me. The idea of being taught how to skate, knock somebody down and NOT have to apologize for it was intriguing to me. I could get out all my aggression and it would be okay!?!

There was one little thing in my way…that gosh darn inhaler of mine. Ya know, the one that my posse had gold plated for me? The one that hangs off my giant gold chain? The one that I need when I start rappin’ some serious shit? Yeah, that one. What was I supposed to do? Well, let me tell you, I walked into the rink to check it all out and I saw at least three skaters lined up on the wall, takin’ hits of albuterol. Aside from their insane love of cats, I knew that the Hellions were going to be my people. My asthmatic, peanut butter lovin’, ice cream eating, hard hitting, unapologetic people.